There are some real gems available from an NSTA list serve that is still ongoing. All directly reported from real honest-ta-goodness teachers. Check it out at NSTA Earth Sci List!
These just came across my desk from a fellow NASA Ambassador, Rae McEntyre (rae_rpcv [at] msn.com)
A number of primary schools were doing a project about "The Ocean." Children were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the "better" ones. Here are some of the descriptions of "ocean life."
- This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
- Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)
- If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island . If you don't have sea all around you, are incontinent. ( Wayne , age 7)
- I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily R. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie, age 6)
- A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)
- My uncle goes out in his boat with pot, and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 7)
- When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William, age 7)
- I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen, age 7)
- When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)
The following list of kid's answers and thoughts were supplied by many
individuals thru the net and my years behind the "desk". Special
- Steve Cremer, PAEMST '94 MA,
at Cremer on AOL
- Jane Maczuzak, PAEMST '96 OH,
at Jane on AOL
- My own students over the last
NOTE: No attempt has been made to
correct spelling and grammar. Submissions are as received to maintain some
semblance of authenticity.
This one just came in from James C. Kernohan of Milton Academy in Milton, MA. [Jim_Kernohan [AT] milton.edu]
"The question ... read "velocity is change in ____ / _____" One of my students merged two ideas and came up with 'change in disposition/change in time'. His answer sure changed my disposition!"
These just came across my desk today (05-02-07). Actually, I just found them again... hidden in a file folder under 10 years of junk... These are questions were actually asked to an online tutorial/homework help service. I can attest to their validity since I worked for this group for 3 years tutoring physics kids! Keep in mind, spelling and punctuation preserved...
- how can you make better grades without studying?
- dear,teacher my reading is very good and I think my friends are jelise of me. can you help?
- I need information about the effects of antifreeze on aquatic life, specifically carp.
- What are some good web sites on anfibeans (frogs, toads, ect)?
- Could spiders be a in insect if you took two legs away.
- What is the average life span of a twinkie
- What does "hi-infidelity" mean?
- how did bethoven become death!
- were does the white go when the snow melts?
- Where does the water from the hose come from?
- Haw do you splle the wrde Fewmdu.
- Hi! Could you sen me a few people I could do a biography report on?
- I want an excuse for having trouble with adjectives and articles
- i need someone to take a french test for me.
- I'm doing a report on ancient Greek gods and Goddesses. i was wondering if there was a God or Goddess of waste. I'm especially interested in finding out if there is a god or goddess of the bathroom.
- Why do people in books always have to be weird like my brother aaron?
- where do you get homework passes?
- in a one page essay describe the "Old Man in the Sea" - I have the book but it is so dull and boring that I can't get into it long enough to read a page. Please help me.
- my mother needs help on english so could u come over and teach her
- what can i make with a peanut butter jar
- When dinosaurs died, were they blue?
- I get so confused with math!!! Can you please explain everything that 5th and fourth graders learn???!!! I forgot it all over the summer!!!!!
- where can I get the biology of J. D. Salinger?
- Is there music coming from the black hole?
- I was wondering if snakes go to the bathroom.
- I need to know how to spell the pladge of the ledgents in spanish?
- I have to do a ten minuet oral presentation on the minuet men.
- Other than his horse what was Robert E Lee's other pet?
- Where can I find Delaware in 1638
- If the earth were flat how would time zones be affected?
- what time did sign language was made
- Wasn't Hamlet a baby pig? Because my brother tried to lei to me and say he wasn't but I no he was because I sawed him and he was fat like my girlfriends dad.
- If I were to cross the international date line on my birthday would I get presents twice?
- What is the difference between Lithuania and North Carolina?
The following comments were quoted by Richard Ledener, from teenage student
science essays, exams and classroom discussions:
- "Marie Curie did her
research at the Sore Buns Institute in France."
- "Men are mammals and
woman are femammals."
- "The largest mammals are
to be found in the sea because there is nowhere else to put them."
- "Water is melted
- "The cause of dew is
through the earth revolving on its own axis and perspiring freely."
- "The earth makes a
resolution every 24 hours."
- "Parallel lines never
meet unless you bend one or both of them."
- "Algebra was the wife of
- "A circle is a figure
with no corners and only one side."
- "A right angle is 90
- "Genetics explains why
you look like your father and if you don't, why you should."
GRADE & HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT ANSWERS FROM EXAMS.
- "When you breath, you inspire. When you do not
breath, you expire."
- "H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water"
- "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a
flame in a test tube"
- "When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably
- "Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is
not found in a free state"
- "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and
Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin." Hydrogin is gin and water."
- "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes
- "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
- "Respiration is composed of two acts, first
inspiration, and then expectoration."
- "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it
is even deader."
- "Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it
to the cow instead of the bull."
- "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down
on them and makes them perspire."
- "A super-saturated solution is one that holds more
than it can hold."
- "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they
look like umbrellas."
- "The body consists of three parts- the brainium,
the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of
which there are five- a, e, i, o, and u."
- "The pistol of a flower is its only protections
- "The alimentary canal is located in the northern
part of Indiana."
- "The skeleton is what is left after the insides
have been taken out and the outsides have ben taken off.
- "The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch
- "A permanent set of teeth consists of eight
canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."
- "The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon.
All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and
nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
- "A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is,
the more extinct it is."
- "Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will
have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large
- "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth
- "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
- "Liter: A nest of young puppies."
- "Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a
- "Momentum: What you give a person when they are
- "Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
- "Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
AND EVEN MORE!
- "Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope
- "Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if
the blood is affirmative or negative."
- "To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down
over the nose."
- "For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the
body until the heart stops."
- "For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move
up and down to make artifical perspiration."
- "For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a
lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of
the nearest medical doctor."
- "For dog bite: put the dog away for sevral days.
If he has not recovered, then kill it."
- "For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration
until the patient is dead."
- "To prevent contraception: wear a
- "For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose
untill it drops in your throat."
- For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it
gently back and forth.
- For snakebites: bleed the wound and rape the victim in
a blanket for shock.
- "To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the
- Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of
- Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats
- The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because
it made man think.
- The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.
- To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the
water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.
- The process of turning steam back into water again is
- The cuckoo bird does not lay his own eggs.
Oh, My GOSH! Even MORE THAN MORE!!!!Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both
Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what
you are talking about.
Geometry teaches us to bisex angles.
A circle is a line which meets its other end without
An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a
bull that gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good meat.
We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians
by spontaneous generation and study of rocks.
English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain
and soil his corpse.
By self-pollination, the farmer may get a flock of
If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a
period of adolescence.
Vegetative propagation is the process by which one
individual manufactures another individual by accident.
A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called
an obscene triangle.
A person should take a bath once in the summer, and not
quite so often in the winter.
The hookworm larvae enters the human body through the
When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood you
get a glacier.
It is a well-known fact that a deceased body harms the
Humans are more intelligent than beasts because the
human branes have more convulsions.
Bar magnets have north and south poles, horseshoe
magnets have east and west poles.
When water freezes you can walk on it. That is what
Christ did long ago in wintertime.
REAL TEST ANSWERS???
Here are REAL Answers Teachers have
received on Tests and Quizzes of 5th thru 10th Graders compiled from various
sources on the Internet AND a few of my own.
- You can listen to thunder
after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't
hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
- When they broke open
molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they
broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
- When people run around and
around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it they are
- Most books now say our sun is
a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
- Many dead animals of the past
changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.
- Vacuums are nothings. We only
mention them to let them know we know they're there.
- Some people can tell time by
looking at the sun. I have trouble making out the numbers.
- We say the cause of perfume
disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things
people forget to put the top on.
- I am not sure how clouds get
formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
- Coincide is what you do when
it rains outside.
- Cyanide is so poisonous that
one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.
- Thunder is a rich source of
- It is so hot in some parts of
the world that the people there have to live someplace else.
- H2O is hot water. CO2 is cold
- The spinal column is a long
bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
- The blood circulates through
the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
- Columbus landed in Ohio.
- Carbon Dating is when an old
dinosaur asks another one to the dance. [HONEST! This WAS on a quiz from
my wife's 6th grade science class! HONEST!]
- Objects appear smaller in
some mirrors because they are farther away.
- Newton got hit in the head by
an apple. That's why he got mad and argued with Einsteen.
- Science is all around us.
It's just hiding.
- A conclusion to a lav is when
you explain why your answer is wrong.
- A human can withstand
millions of volts, but only one at a time.
- The future of "I give" is "I
- The parts of speech are lungs
- Before there was people, they
- A census taker is man who
goes from house to house increasing the population.
- Water is composed of two
gins. Oxygin and hydigin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrigin is gin and water.
- A virgin forest is a forest
where the hand of man has never set foot.
- The general direction of the
Alps is straight up.
- A city purifies its water by
filtering it then forcing it through an aviator.
- Most of the houses in France
are made of Plaster of Paris.
- The people who followed the
Lord were called the Oppossums.
- One of the main causes of
dust is janitors.
- A scout obeys all to whom
obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.
- One by-product of raising
cattle is calves.
- The four seasons are salt,
pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
- The word trousers is an
uncommon noun because it is singular at the top but plural at the bottom.
- Syntax is all the money
collected at church from sinners.
- In spring, the salmon swim
upstream to spoon.
- Iron was discovered because
someone smelt it.
- In the middle of the 18th
century, all the morons moved to Utah.
- A person should take a bath
once in the summer, less often in the winter.
FOLLOW THIS LINK FOR SAMPLES OF STUDENT RESPONSES COMPILED BY NSTA MEMBERS